#1 You have to talk yourself out of buying every sparkly top you see – ‘Put the hanger down, step AWAY from the sequins’ – reminding yourself over and over that every year you buy one and every year you wear it only once. Absolutely. No. More. Oh but how you covet those lovely sparkly sequins.
#2 You find yourself out in the garden at all hours playing an impromptu game of hunt the parcel, after arriving home to another ‘I-called-but-you-were-out-so-I-have-cunningly-planked-your-parcel’ courier card.
#3 You go to bed thinking you have a couple of free nights to yourself coming up… and wake to email invitations that mean waving bye-bye to those free nights. What the heck, it’s Christmas. You can sleep during the holidays.
#4 You’re temporarily afflicted by a musical version of Tourette Syndrome, randomly bursting into Christmas song, be it a carol, hymn or that one by Mariah Carey.
#5 Your everyday shopping trolley starts sporting increasingly random items. A jingly, jangly decoration here, a bag of frozen parsnips there, santa hats and glitter. Glitter everywhere. (It’s those jingly, jangly decorations.) On you. On your food goods. On the check-out assistant ringing them up. (Sorry Sir!)
#6 It feels like your debit card is never out of your hand. You wonder if there will come a point where it finally gives up the ghost and stops working. You panic slightly at the thought.
#7 You get a bad case of ‘stamp tongue’ – a condition that arises from licking and sticking too many Christmas card envelopes in one sitting and inadvertently acquiring a thin icky film of glue on your tongue. Even a strong cup of tea doesn’t get rid of it. Speaking of which see #8.
#8 Your afternoon cuppa is re-christened Mince Pie O’Clock. January to November you didn’t give these crumbly little fruit-filled pies so much as a passing thought. Come December 1st, you’re positively craving them.
#9 You find yourself secretly wishing it would snow. You daren’t actually say as much for fear of public ridicule. You, along with the rest of the UK, haven’t forgotten the chaos wreaked by heavy snow in recent years. But your inner Christmas Fairy isn’t concerned with Christmases past. She’s preoccupied with thinking how magical and pretty a light dusting of snow (or even just some glistening frost, if any forecasters are listening) would look this year. *Wistful sigh*
#10 You get tree envy… Christmas tree envy… as one by one your neighbours decorate their houses before you have a free afternoon to do your own. Well stand by neighbours, the Christmas Fairy is putting hers up this very weekend!
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