#1 Pre-ceremony, one wedding guest (male) making small talk with another wedding guest (female) and asking of her one-year old baby daughter and apple of her eye: “Is it a boy or a girl?” Didn’t spot the dress, frilly socks and matching booties then?
#2 The bride-to-be walking down the aisle towards an emotional groom-to-be, then gently wiping away the tears from his cheeks. Cue lump in the throat no.1 of the day.
#3 Minutes later, the now newbie bride sealing the deal with a kiss… then punching the air in glee and declaring to the room: “Yessssssssssssss!”
#4 During drinks, one wedding guest (female) asking another wedding guest (male) of his diamond-encrusted watch: “Are those real?” To which he replied: “Of course! How would you feel if I asked you if those were real?” indicating towards said female guest’s boobs. Fair point.
#5 Opening the pre-dinner speeches, an emotional groom explaining that when it came to the role of best man, there was only one best man… his dad. Cue lump in the throat no.2 of the day.
#6 Closing the pre-dinner speeches, the groom addressing his new bride, a lady who has faced more than her share of health challenges and has tackled each one with dignity and a smile, describing her as, “a beautiful person… inside and out.” Cue… ah sod it… full blown tears throughout the room.
#7 Over dinner, one by now well-oiled guest (female) trying to recall which dessert she had pre-selected: “Now, I think I’m a tart….”
#8 While the wedding band warmed up, two grown men happily posing for photos, arms drunkenly around one another, while wearing their wives’ wedding hats.
#9 Kicking off the dancing, one brave (for ‘brave’ read ‘well on’) couple attempting to re-enact the lift scene from Dirty Dancing. You know the one. Hold, hold, ho………….
#10 Closing the dancing in style, one guest (female) intent on partying on long after the band had played their last song, giving a fellow guest (male) an impromptu lap dance… much to the amusement of his partner sat beside him.
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