10 bad ideas

#1 “Mistakenly thinking that, in the absence of my usual washing powder, an egg cup of washing up liquid would do the job just as well. I came back into the kitchen 20 minutes later to find frothy white bubbles oozing out of the washing machine, along our brand new hardwood floor and out the kitchen door.”

#2 “Arriving at a funeral early and thinking I may as well go inside out of the cold, joining four or five other punctual mourners in getting a pew. Or so I thought. Minutes later, as the doors closed over, I realised that I was in fact attending the funeral service directly before the one I was supposed to be attending. There was nothing I could do but sit there for the duration then try and make a bolt for it before the family could quiz me on how I had known their elderly mother.”

#3 “One freezing cold night when I had a football match on I sprayed a Deep Heat-like treatment liberally all over my legs thinking it would keep them warm. No sooner did I get outside than my legs started to burn like hell and I had to fake an injury five minutes into the game in order to get myself subbed.”

#4 “Leaving the room when my two year old was painting and returning to find she’d happily painted from her fingertips to her elbows in thick black oil paint.”

#5 “Post-pub, going home to a friend’s house and tucking into pakora and a side dish of bright pink sauce while sitting on their pristine white sofa. Well, it was pristine…”

#6 “Buying a round of Aftershock then when some of the group refused theirs, drinking the spares. A decision that resulted in an aftershock all of its own: a handbag full of sick, a two-day hangover and six months off alcohol altogether.”

#7 “Fake tanning after a bottle of wine  or just as deadly, texting or calling any ex after a bottle of wine.”

#8 Lending a boyfriend my spare mattress for his new place to save him shelling out more cash at an already expensive time. Weeks later we split and I found myself shelling out hundreds of pounds to replace my own spare mattress.”

#9 “Assuming someone was gay without actually checking, mentioning it in passing to friends at a party then later finding myself confronted by the (now very angry) person in question who, it turned out, wasn’t gay at all.”

#10 “Marrying my ex-husband. Does that count?”

Got one to add? Leave a comment below.

© Lesley Dougall Copywriting Limited and 10thingsby.com, 2012. Unauthorised reproduction of content is not permitted. To request permission, contact copywriter@lesleydougall.com

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