#1 You hear yourself saying aloud things you would normally only think to yourself. Things like, “You / he / she / they / this / that / it… is DOING MY HEAD IN!!!”
#2 As your estrogen levels peak, your tolerance levels plummet. You bark at this, you snap at that, you even find yourself having a furious stand-off with inanimate objects such as the dish that won’t stop sliding off the rack into the sink or the dishtowel that refuses to stay on the peg.
#3 Everyday tasks become that little bit trickier. Tasks such as walking through doorways without hitting your side off the door frame. Ouch.
#4 You could rival any carnival clown for clumsiness. Your brand new pot of translucent face powder magically slips through your hands, landing wrong side up on the bathroom floor. Your glass bottle of foundation falls from the shelf, hitting the hard tiled floor and leaking its expensive contents. And for every one item you drop and pick up again, you can reasonably expect to drop it at least one more time before it stays where it should.
#5 Your natural instinct, when running down a flight of stairs at speed, goes from holding on to the bannister to holding on to your boobs. Fine if you work from home, not so fine when you work in a public office.
#6 You find it hard to stay awake beyond 9pm – and even that’s an effort. Then you wake up at 3am, overly warm, and can’t get back to sleep for the life of you.
#7 You would run over yourself to get to a bar of chocolate. Last week, you could take it or leave it (well, you could at least be strong enough to resist it). This week? You resemble Walt Disney’s Road Runner en route to the biscuit tin.
#8 Your skin reverts to being 16 again, throwing the epidermal equivalent of a teenage hissy fit by breaking out in the most conspicuous of spots at the most inconvenient of times. (Probably egged on by point #7.)
#9 It’s only 2pm and already you feel yourself on the verge of tears for the fourth time today. Just… just because…
#10 Your boyfriend / partner / husband / male colleagues watch on in bemused silence until an Alan Partridge-esque moment of ‘Ahaaaaaaaaaaa’ passes over their face and they look at you smugly as if to say, “P.M.T.”
Got a sure-fire sign of PMT to add? Leave a comment below.
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