#1 Just like going to the beach you worry beforehand that you won’t look slim enough / curvy enough / toned enough / young enough / fit enough compared with everyone else, then you make your first visit to the gym and you’re reminded that people come in all shapes, sizes and fitness levels.
#2 The amount of information retained from a gym induction is on a par with that retained from a visit to the doctor – about 50%. Hence on your first few visits you spend about as much time fumbling your way about the various pieces of equipment as you do working out.
#3 You require a whole new dimension to your wardrobe. Visit the gym with any regularity and you soon get bored of wearing the same kit day in day out, making you covet that fourth pair of capris… second pair of running shoes… identical vest top in a different colour… new hoodie…
#4 Forget diamonds, lycra is a girl’s best friend but specifically black lycra. Figure hugging cloth + light colours x working out = some very unforgiving sweat patches. Not the look any of us are seeking.
#5 Mirror, mirror, on the wall – do you look at your own reflection while working out or do you look anywhere but and risk catching someone’s eye, causing them to think you’re watching them? Exactly what IS the Code of Gym Mirror Conduct?
#6 There’s no way of knowing if you’ll have a good workout or bad. The exact same workout session can be surprisingly easy one day and ‘oh-my-God-another-15-reps-I-can’t-do-this’ the next day.
#7 A good playlist is your saviour. Slow tracks are bad. Upbeat tracks are good, especially when played LOUDDDDDDDD… though working out to music is not without at least one adverse side effect – see #8.
#8 The gym can’t half kill a good song. The next time you’re out and about and hear a track by will.i.am, David Guetta or Rihanna you find yourself having a Pavlov’s dog-esque reaction thinking ‘upper arm curl 15 reps’.
#9 The calorie counter is one evil invention. How can five minutes of torture on the stepper machine really only burn 126 calories? Is that even the equivalent of one jaffa cake??
#10 Nothing beats the gym for giving you a mental boost. No matter how stressful it can be getting away from work mid-week or how hard it is to drag your lethargic self out of the house on a rainy weekend, you’re guaranteed to come away from the gym feeling a million times better than you did when you first went in. Buzziiiiiiiiing.
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