10 observations about living with the opposite sex (the female perspective)

#1 “You find yourself watching programmes you didn’t even know existed, let alone thought you’d find yourself subjected to. Weapons of the Future. Extreme Engineering. Mythbusters. And the wake-up moment of all wake up moments Most Underpants Worn At One Time, followed immediately after by Longest Human Mattress Domino.” 

#2 “Their near allergic reaction to time management. How DO men hold down jobs? Any notion of forward planning, organisational skills or time management seems to go out the window the minute they step foot out the office door.”

#3 I’ll do the BBQ, honey.”Sure you will, I’ll just buy the food, prepare the salad, set the table AND do the dishes afterwards while you stand guard, a chilled beer in hand, pushing around a few sausages and burgers.”

#4 “They use every pot, pan, dish and utensil in the kitchen when cooking a meal, but with no notion of washing up as they go along, leaving you to tidy away their mess afterwards.”

#5 “They shed their clothes in the same way a snake sheds its skin – one smooth move that leaves the day’s dirty clothes lying in a heap on the floor.”

#6 “The new generation of porn. Mountain biking. Weight loss. Fitness regimes. Designer watches. They’re constantly to be found with their head buried in a magazine or i-pad drooling over the latest bits, tips, makes and models.”

#7 “Men can’t multi-task. They can only watch football on TV while listening to another match on the radio while flicking through the newspaper while checking their emails while tweeting the score while browsing online.”

#8 “Their stock answer when you ask them what they want for dinner. “I don’t know. What do you fancy?”

#9 “They will happily leaving the house having washed with nothing fancier than a bar of soap and a 99p bottle of shampoo. Only they don’t. They try your special shampoo (no conditioner – that’s for girls), use your youth replenishing moisturiser, dab on some of your £30-a-pot miracle eye cream, finish with a blast of your hairspray…..”

#10 “They don’t do birthdays. Until it’s their own.”

© Lesley Dougall Copywriting Limited and 10thingsby.com, 2012. Unauthorised reproduction of content is not permitted. To request permission, contact copywriter@lesleydougall.com

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